posted by Thanh Shanahan
Life at home with my two little ones can be hectic at times. They are 19 months apart, and one of two things can happen as we go through our day. First is (unfortunately) fighting – toddlers and preschoolers are quite selfish and there is quite the learning curve for sharing and taking turns. The other is slowing their mom down when she is ready to leave or transition to the next activity. Throw in a six-month-old who I watch every day and hectic is taken up a notch. Because of my current reality, the timer is my best friend. At home we use the one on the microwave and the timer on the trusty iPhone never fails when we’re on the go.
Siblings fighting over the same toy is inevitable. When this happens, my children know the drill.
One child lets the other know that they’d like a turn with the toy.
The other child responds with “You can have it when I’m done.”
“How much longer?”
“2 minutes (my 2-year-old son’s response every time!)”
And this is when I interject. I give the second child the option to know how long “2 minutes” is or if I need to set a timer. I like to give them a chance to sense time passing and know when they are done with the toy and ready to pass it on. My daughter will usually tell me that she knows when 2 minutes have passed – and she does. In fact, she usually is done before a timer would have rang. If the timer is needed, it is a good visual for all parties involved – they can see the numbers counting down. And when the timer is done, there is a beeping or a song to let everyone know it’s time to switch. It’s not flawless by any means, but it does work most of the time.
Transitions can be tricky for little ones. Time to clean up, time to go to the bathroom, time to get your shoes on, time to head out the door, time to leave the zoo. I’m sure in their eyes, I have the worse timing! I do try my best to give them several warnings, but the timers yield a much better result and less crying. For example, when it’s time for us to leave the museum or the zoo (two of our favorite places), I will first give them a 30-minute warning so that they know it’s almost time to go home. I usually set my phone timer when there are 5 minutes left. As soon as the song plays, both of my kids – and any regular friends we see – will look right at me to make sure it is time to leave. Using the timer in this way has made this transition so much easier for us – there is rarely tears or opposition, which makes leaving go just a little smoother.
Trust me when I tell you that a timer is a game changer – even almost magical. 🙂 It takes training and practice, but once established, it will help you in so many areas.